


Sakura Addiction

by Hey_you_can_never_have_enough_cats



Category: Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Genre: A Bit of Fluff, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It of Sorts, I blame the movie, Impulsive writing, M/M, One Shot, Ritsu is adorkable, Teenage Ritsu, Teenage Takano, and because Ritsu can't drop-kick his Senpai and leave like a bad-ass, and no-one can convince me otherwise, i don't do this, i guess?, so his name is still Saga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 06:46:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23347147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hey_you_can_never_have_enough_cats/pseuds/Hey_you_can_never_have_enough_cats
Summary: At that moment, Ritsu didn’t even feel pain from crashing down the staircase. The only image that seemed to have been burnt into his memories was Senpai’s face making fun of him. Ha! Just my luck…might as well die for real now. What is even left for me in such a miserable world anyways?
Relationships: Onodera Ritsu/Takano Masamune
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	Sakura Addiction

**Author's Note:**

> This has bugged me now for some time. Ever since I started reading and watching Sekaiichi again, I noticed how utterly adorkable our dear Ritsu is – and suddenly I asked myself, I mean this is really surprising, how on Earth was he able to land a PERFECT kick on his beloved Senpai and leave like a bad-ass, when in reality Onodera Ritsu is an airhead to boot and the definition of a hopeless klutz?! Ah, plot convenience is such a nice thing…lol  
> So there I sensed a great opportunity to try and write something to make things right.

It was a seemingly normal day. One could say, innocent, even. But not if you were Onodera Ritsu – since for him it probably was the **worst** day of his, albeit, short young life. No. It _definitely_ was the worst day ever.

Panting heavily, he wanted to run away, but had no strength whatsoever to move any muscles at all. As if even his own body had conspired against him. Ritsu had never felt so utterly exhausted, not in body or mind or soul. No mid-term test, school festival, field trip, sport event, fight with his friends or family all put together for that matter, had made him feel losing so much energy.

 _I really just want to vanish right now_ …Ritsu thought to himself. _This is…waayyy too awkward, really…._

If you’re wondering about this young high school boy’s current situation, here is the picture: Onodera Ritsu, aged 15 years old, was laying at the end of a staircase, sprawled out like a black ink splotch on a forgotten calligraphy homework.

_Hah, at least he isn’t coming after me… or so it seems…_

Sigh…

_Ugh, but really…I am way too uncoordinated. How did I even get to this mess in the first place? Everything is so confusing…I don’t even know what I’m actually doing, do I now?_

And the day had actually been quite wonderful, unbelievably so. At least for Ritsu.

Like almost all days after school he was waiting for Saga-senpai, his boyfriend(?). He wasn’t sure about that at all. His senpai was rather taciturn and stoic, giving these characteristics the older boy was anything but an open book. So obviously, since Saga was impossible to read, Ritsu had a hard time telling what was going on in the mind of his probably one-sided crush.

In spite of all his insecurities, Ritsu found himself quite happy, being able to expect the arrival of Saga-senpai at any moment.

_Ugh, is this really all right, though? I mean, sure Saga-senpai seemed to have accepted me somehow, but still… He wouldn’t invite me to his home, if he didn’t like me a little bit, but still… Senpai doesn’t say anything... Also, he couldn’t be disgusted by me, could he? Although, he told me off once, I got pretty startled…he was kinda right, wasn’t he? Of course, I know that I’m the weird one here...falling for a guy like this cannot be seen as normal. Stalking Senpai, being a guy myself and everything…I must be repulsive… Argh, I’m creeping myself out!!! And fussing around like this doesn’t get me anywhere…maybe… Maybe if I asked him about…us…? Oh God, what am I doing?_

“…tsu…”

“…Hey, you…Ritsu…!”

!!!

Startled out of his reverie, Ritsu blinked several times, directing his sparkling green big orbs towards the beckoning voice that could only belong to _that_ person. Saga Masamune: the existence that could with only a look at him, only by whispering his name, only by a touch or whatever, set his whole being aflame.

“You know…” Saga sighed.

“Hahaha…” embarrassed Ritsu looked down.

“What’re you daydreamin’ about in broad daylight?”

“I’m sorry.” The shorter boy squeezed his eyes shut, lightly trembling.

“And stop apologizin’ for every little thing, already.” His senpai shook his head slightly in exasperation. _How can he be this…cute? Gosh, what am I thinking...?_ A chuckle almost made its way out of Saga’s mouth. He raised his hand and ruffled his kohai’s fluffy brown hair.

The younger’s face exploded like bright red fireworks in the sky. _With only the feeling of Senpai’s fingertips touching my hair, my heart…God, I hope he can’t hear it! But then again I want him to notice me…_

“Senpai!” gathering his courage, he called out in a small voice.

“What?” a cool reply came.

_I want to get closer to you…and know more about you…_

“Can I ask you a question?” he became flustered. _What am I being redundant for…!? Why am I so awkward? Ugh…Why are you always so composed, Senpai?_

“Un.”

_Argh!! If I think about it, isn’t funny? We are surrounded by books. I love reading ever since I was able to decipher these little black characters that hold infinitely more than one could imagine at first glance. I’ve spent three years reading the same books as Senpai, just to get a little closer. Why is it that I sometimes feel I can relate more with the written words than with the person right in front of me? All these stories connecting us, but out of a reason I feel a distance between us, a gap that could never be crossed._

“I…That is…” Ritsu struggled to form the words. Saga-senpai looked at him; nothing could be gleamed from his expressionless face. Aloof as ever, as though there wasn’t a thing in this big vast universe that could affect his senpai.

_This silly conversation is really… If communication was just as easy as reading, I wouldn’t be so troubled. I know so many words, so why is it so difficult to tell you what I want to say?_

“…day.” Ritsu finished inaudibly.

“Come again?” Saga said sounding irritated.

“Ah, it’s fine, if Senpai doesn’t want to say!! I’m sorry!” he desperately tried to brush it off and hid his face behind his hands.

“Really?” Saga inquired suspiciously, raising an eyebrow.

“You know, you spoke with such a low volume, I didn’t even get to hear that question of yours.”

“Eh?” Vibrant green eyes peaked out behind slender fingers.

“So? Let’s hear it.”

“…” _this is so embarrassing!_

Ritsu took a deep breath:”When is your birthday, Senpai?”

Shaking his head vehemently as if to dispel the embarrassment linked to the memories, Ritsu sighed deeply again. He really needed to get a grip on himself, get away from Senpai’s home, away from his hurt feelings and maybe even away from this whole country, and then Ritsu might just be able to forget this entire affair. That sounded like a _good_ plan…

Especially, if you considered that here in Japan just were so many things with trigger potentiality which meant certain elements would always remind him of his trauma. The best example might be the cherry blossoms. Yes, Ritsu would come to downright despise these seemingly innocent almost white flowers. These petals that only carried a soft hue of pink evoked now a pitch black revolting feeling in him.

How could he continue living in a country that straight-out worshipped the _sakuras_ every freaking year? And if that wasn’t enough to add insult to injury these nightmares of trees were planted in most of Nippon’s schools. Naturally, his own institution wasn’t an exception in that matter.

“Ha..!” a sarcastic sounding noise escaped Ritsu’s lips. _My love could also be compared to the sakuras._ Bitterness welled in him up. After all, his feelings had been of the purest beauty. The affection for his Senpai had been flowing out just like the floating cherry petals which painted the world with the color of fairy tales. For all the wonder these flowers caused, their life was short. At most the sakuras survived four days of its brilliant glory, only to be cruel scattered away by the wind. _Just like my happiness – ephemeral indeed – the cherry blossoms are nothing but an illusion…_

Suddenly, Ritsu heard a faint noise. A door creaked open on the floor above. The young boy still struggling to get up from the floor, couldn’t help but feel panic rise in his body, making it even more difficult to coordinate his limbs. _Shit…I’ll be damned…_ He was like a fish on land.

Footsteps were getting louder as they trudged down the wooden stair steps. Coming closer and closer, Ritsu instinctively shut his eyes, hiding his face behind his weak arms as if to make himself invisible, in a foolish attempt to disappear like only a five-year-old child would imagine possible.

_If I can’t see you – you can’t see me, either. Heh…ugh, pathetic… just don’t cry, dare you cry now Onodera Ritsu!!_

It was then that Ritsu realized his mistake. Vision wasn’t the only sense of perception to notice the presence of the world. _Maybe I can pretend to be deaf? Yeah, I’m deaf! I cannot hear a thing…_ The sound of a husky deep voice carried its way down to his ears.

“The fuck ‘s goin’ on…?”

_AH, I can’t hear you, not at all. Nothing. Nope. Not a sound. I’m not even here. Yes, exactly, I’m not in this place to begin with. So, there is no reason to cry…ugh._

Of course, all self-suggestions were futile attempts to escape the inevitable. The husky voice continued now much closer. When did Senpai get to the end of the staircase?

“You…”

The tone sounded rather unlike the ever aloof looking Saga and was more like a mix of confusing, even a little worried but that couldn’t be now, right?

“…tried to kill yourself, or what?” Saga-senpai crouched down to where our helpless Ritsu was frozen to the ground. “Oi, say somethin’…Oda. You.. hurt? ”

“…”

“Sigh. You know, you’re really weird. Why ‘m _I_ askin’ you about bein’ hurt, when you just hit me outta nowhere and then dashing outta ma room like that.”

Ritsu shuddered at the memory of the aforementioned episode. Ridiculously enough, epiphany hit Ritsu out of nowhere: the real meaning of the three monkeys was heartbreak, because he really didn’t want to see, hear or feel the presence of Saga Masamune at all. He didn’t want to be aware of the source of his suffering, but all struggles were for naught and just like that time when the feeling of _love_ was overflowing from its container – now pain of being rejected was destroying everything in its wake.

Still, the younger boy tried to resist the erupting volcano inside of him. Speaking in a rather dejected and apathetic tone, Ritsu replied: “P-Please, don’t mind m-me, Sa…Saga-senpai.” _Oh no! I need to hurry, my voice is breaking…_ “I’m quite alright. And s-sorry for any inconvenience I might have caused you, Senpai. I do apo-apologize.”

“Hah?! What’s with this response…You do realize where you are, huh? Now, come on. How long are you gonna lie there, mmh?”

Saga grabbed Ritsu’s arm to pull him up, but Ritsu tried to struggle away from his grip.

“!”

“DON’T—touch me!!”

In his despair Ritsu got the last reserve of his strength to try and push the older boy away from him, but the whole thing had already turned into half a tussle, and Ritsu being Ritsu, of course gravity would just work against him, making Saga fall down heavily on top of himself.

“Ugh!”

“Wah!”

_Ah, this is so…so… horrible! What should I do now…God! What can I do now?_

Trying to control his shaking voice yet again, Ritsu gasped: “Eh, Senpai? S-Sorry, b-but could you…?” _Move!! Move, already! Please!! Hurry up!_

Saga’s hot breath brushed past Ritsu’s ear, making his whole body shiver. Involuntary, due to their scuffle Ritsu had to look at his senpai, being unable now to hide his face anywhere at all.

The moment they made eye contact, Ritsu gasped and Saga seemed to hold his breath while his face betrayed a rather alarmed expression. Unexpectedly, the younger boy felt a finger trailing down his face – the abrupt gesture made Ritsu flush bright red, and yet again he tried to escape, to no avail.

“Your eyes…” a stunned Saga murmured.

These verdant eyes, which for Saga Masamune always only sparkled like brilliant emeralds full of life and happiness, were now dull, having lost all of their bright luster as if drowned in a _tsunami_ of grief. The image sent Saga shivers down his spine. _Could he have been crying?_ Saga wondered. _But why? I’ve been the one who got K.O., not the other way around, right?_

Quite puzzled Saga put a stop to his musings, and fixed his gaze on the only person with him, searching an answer to his questions as though it all could be solved like a mathematical problem.

Ritsu gulped down. This was it. No backing down now. He had missed the chance to leave, when he haphazardly run out of that room without thinking. Blinded by the maelstrom of emotions whirling inside him, suddenly there was air beneath his feet and before he knew it, gravity had pulled him down. The world turned, not only metaphorically but also literally speaking, upside-down.

At that moment, Ritsu didn’t even feel pain from crashing down the staircase. The only image that seemed to have been burnt into his memories was Senpai’s face making fun of him. _Ha! Just my luck…might as well die for real now. What is even left for me in such a miserable world anyways?_

Being starred at by the last person on Earth he under no circumstances wanted to see – those caramel brown eyes locked on him, as though Saga was able to read him like an open book – a thought that made Ritsu feel all the more vulnerable. So, just like that damned confession which had spilled out of him, the bottled up feelings of rejection welled up and – 

“WASN’T THIS ALL JUST A F-FUCKIN’ JOKE TO YOU?! THE WAY YOU LAUGHED!! I--” These were the words that erupted from within Ritsu. He gasped heavily, never having yelled so hard at any one in his entire life.

Saga stared absolutely baffled at the sudden angry outburst and had a very hard time suppressing an avalanche of impossible feelings and thoughts. His throat started to dry up as if he’d been in the desert for such a long time. There was no water in sight; only the scorching sun could be felt burning mercilessly down on all the insignificant life forms crawling in that lost land of sand.

Suddenly, Ritsu couldn’t stop anymore, after having taken the first leap down the words that had been trapped for so long, now spilled out of his mouth – rain drops of tears and pain drenching Saga-senpai’s very soul. 

“…Senpai, I’ve been really serious about you. With you, I lost complete reason…and…ugh….I really hoped you’d at least like me a little bit back. It made me worry about all sorta things.”

The noise of sobs filled the hallway. Ritsu reached out a hand to wipe up his runny nose. All the tears and words he had caged in his little heart came now gushing out – the steel hard dam he’d built up moments ago crumbled into pure dust. The point of no return…the younger boy felt completely exposed. His chest felt too constricted, making his breath come out in gasps.

“I know, I’m disgusting, having st-stalked you…for some…time. On top of it I’m also a guy, so falling in love with another guy, cannot be…ugh…you know… And I also never know how or what to say to you, Senpai.”

With every word his voice quivered a little more. It was painfully obvious to Saga how much Ritsu struggled to explain himself.

“ _Oda…_ you-” without knowing how Saga wanted to calm him down, but instead he got abruptly cut off.

“A-AND ALSO THAT’S NOT EVEN MY N-NAME!”

“What?” flabbergasted Saga gaped at his kohai.

Bewildered Ritsu’s thought process short-circuited. Instantaneously, his eyes grew the size of saucer plates when realization hit him.

“Senpai, you read…read the…re-registry…of the library books!?”

Sighing Saga simply nodded his head.

“You know, you never told me.”

A pair of confused forest green eyes met Saga’s gaze.

“Your name”

“!!!”

Ritsu thought back and he really couldn’t remember having ever told the older boy his name. So overwhelmed had he been with everything that he never bothered with introducing himself properly. And well, there was no time to even consider the mention of a mere name, because all was just and only about Senpai. Period.

Turning a bright shade of crimson, Ritsu really cursed his foolishness. If one could die out of shame, he’d be probably dead a million times over.

At the sight of the squirming boy beneath him, Saga wasn’t able anymore to ignore certain impulses. _I cannot say that to you now…or ever…but you’re so cute…_ So instead, he hugged Ritsu close to himself, holding him as if he was the most precious treasure beyond space and time.

Somehow with the whole name affair out of the bag, the depressing atmosphere that had enveloped both of them gradually dissipated into thin air. If Saga had to describe the moment, it felt like a deluge had finally come to a stop, leaving the air filled with the scent of freshly fallen rain.

“L-let go…” Ritsu tried weakly to get away. Very unsuccessfully.

Saga tighten his grip around him, exhaling slowly, he whispered in his deep voice, making Ritsu’s ear ring with the resounding timbre: “So Oda, what’s your name? And why did you…?”

It _almost_ sounded teasing. Almost, though.

Pressed down on the floor and feeling the warmth of Senpai seep into his own body, Ritsu swallowed heavily.

“I…that is…I’m sorry…it was very stupid of me.”

“That does not answer my questions.”

“S-sorry…ah…so...”

_So unfair! For God’s sake! Why is it always me cornered like that? You haven’t said anything as well. And here I am **always** being swayed by you like this. Argh!_

“You’re right.”

“Uh…” _Shit! Did I think out loud just now!?_ Ritsu panicked.

Subtly, Saga sat up and lifted Ritsu in the process up, as well. Apparently unwilling to part, Saga let go of the younger boy in his arms and looked down at his hands.

An unexpected sound made Ritsu stare transfixed at his senpai as if mesmerized by that person.

He was laughing.

But it was different from that time.

_Pure._

_Beautiful._

_Just like the cherry blossoms._

“You know, we’re really…messed up bunch”

Ritsu hold his breath.

“But-”

Saga made sure to look Ritsu in the eyes.

“-there has never been someone like you in my life.”

 _Well, how often do you get stalked in your life?_ A sarcastic comment flashed through Ritsu’s mind. Any other destructive thought was put on a hold though, as Saga opened his mouth to continue.

“Oda Ritsu or whatever your name might be…there is something we need to be clear about: I love you.”

_I love you, Ritsu…_

These words echoed inside of his mind in an endless loop. Bouncing off and engraving themselves deep into his heart. Just with these three words Senpai destroyed his whole soul, and recreated it into something that belonged entirely to Saga Masamune.

_A dream._

_I must be dreaming. How could Senpai say something like this right now? It’s a lie. It just can’t be true, right? Because if this is real, I...I…_

He didn’t realize the tears that trickled down his face until Ritsu felt Saga-senpai’s fingers wiping them gently away.

The tears falling down like sakuras petals…

Silently Saga chuckled to himself: “Hah, what are you crying for…are we in a shoujo manga or what?”

 _Senpai is…he is also embarrassed. It can’t be…_ It struck Ritsu out of nowhere. He shook his head.

Saga ruffled Ritsu’s soft caramel brown hair. _So nice to the touch…_

There were still a lot of loose ends. The future was shrouded in mist. The events of this day were falling like a rain of sakuras through his fingers into a deep black darkness, and for a moment Ritsu had been almost pulled down, too. Drowned. To be forever forlorn.

But without a warning, Senpai tore all the gloominess apart.

_I can breathe again._

_Because of you._

_Love is a mystery no one can unravel._

Feeling those familiar fingers running through his hair, Onodera Ritsu smiled from the bottom of his heart for the first time that day.

**Author's Note:**

> So first of all thank you, dear reader, if you made it until here. I really hope you enjoyed it.  
> If the writing betrays my non-nativeness, it can't be helped - after all English is my third language  
> I tried to make Takano speak rather colloquial to get him closer to the Japanese version, since there he uses informal speech when interacting with his kohai, were as Ritsu uses the polite style. This creates an effect of distance and respect, given their senpai-kohai relationship. I hope I was able to get this across.  
> About Sorata. I really, really wanted to include the cat into the story, but as everything progressed, he outright refused to come out. Typical cat behavior, I should say. I have four myself so, you just can’t force them to do anything, if they don’t decide they’re into it. Haha. And well, after Ritsu’s awesome tumble down, Sorata grew even more reluctant to get near that walking disaster of a human. Poor Ritsu.  
> Actually, I had in mind to resolve all the issues I mentioned in the fic, but somehow it turned out like this…I really feel like it’s not me writing at all, but the characters doing whatever they feel like up to… what is with this?  
> The title: Sakuras a theme going through SiH and there is this song called “Sakura Addiction”, sung also by the VA of Onodera Ritsu, Takashi Kondo. What could fit better…The song’s pretty cool, check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqN5jrvaL9Y  
> Well, all in all this was more fun to write than I imagined, I’m kinda sad it’s over, but also relieved at the same time.  
> 


End file.
